Open Auditions
by doodleswriter357
Summary: In which Mercedes and Kurt are bored one day and decide to try out for the Cheerios. Tag to "Wheels."


_Yes I'm alive! And I have a new fandom, so I decided to try my hand at a Glee fic. This is just a tag to the episode "Wheels" where Mercedes and Kurt try out for Cheerios. That part always cracked me up, so this little plot bunny was born. Enjoy!_

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It sat there. Taunting. Almost begging for someone to go over and question its very existence. Nothing like it had ever existed on that bulletin board. And that board had seen many different things over the years. From pieces of loose leaf paper advertising lost class rings to official announcements heralding new changes in the lunch menu, typed up on official McKinley High letterhead. However, never in the history of the school had there been a piece of paper (a very small piece, but still there nonetheless,) advertising open tryouts for the Cheerios.

When it had first been spotted by someone searching for a place to stick their sign about the FBLA cookie sale, the person in question had gaped for a few moments, taken a picture with their cell phone for proof, and by eleven in the morning, more than half the school had seen the picture. Many students had stopped by the board to see it for themselves, but none had been brave enough to actually pick up the pen with the official Cheerios logo on it, and sign up for the squad. It had to be a trick or a joke, put up by some of the Cheerios themselves, hoping to make a fool out of some naïve freshman. It couldn't actually mean that for the first time since anyone could remember; there was a fair chance for anyone to join Cheerios.

There was one person in particular though, who was brave enough to walk right up to the paper, read the very fine print, and try not to hide the fact that they were actually looking at it. Kurt Hummel had gotten much worse than sideways glances in his high school career, so he ignored the stares, and finished reading all the information about what one would need to do if they were to go about becoming a member of the Cheerios.

"So it's really real huh?" a voice startled him out of his thoughts. He turned to see Mercedes standing behind him, peering at the sign too.

"Seems to be real," he replied. "Although I can't fathom as to why it's up here, it is. Very interesting."

You see, ever since Sue Sylvester had taken over the role of Cheerios head coach twenty years ago, she had changed how tryouts were held. No one at the school could remember it being any differently than how she ran the squad. What happened was that current Cheerios were in charge of scouting out new recruits. At cheerleading camps the summer before school started, gymnastic competitions at middle schools, and the mere social rank of many students were deciding factors in whether or not students would make it onto the squad. If you were well known, had a good memory for cheers, and could do a cartwheel, you had a very good chance at getting on. Once the freshman had been handpicked, Sue put them through extensive training and picked the best ones. The others were left with the knowledge that they had at least been almost good enough.

Kurt squinted at the paper, apparently still in deep thought about the whole ordeal. He was getting an idea. Mercedes recognized the hint of a mischievous smile starting to make its way onto his face. She started shaking her head before he even turned to look at her, but couldn't keep the smile off her own face.

"Say Mercedes?" Kurt drawled slowly.

"Yes?" she shot back, just as slowly.

"We don't have much going on right now –" here she let out a snort of laughter. "And you know I never pass up an opportunity to perform. What do you say? Will you audition for the Cheerios with me?"

"Okay, you are joking right now, right?" Mercedes asked him, fighting to keep from laughing. "In case you forgot, we are currently riding around in wheelchairs for at least three hours a day, have to do a new number in said wheelchairs, are trying to have a bake sale to raise a very large amount of money, and don't you have a big solo you are supposed to be rehearsing for?"

"Yes to all of the above," he replied, "but the tryouts don't conflict with Glee practice or the bake sale, and I have plenty of time to work on the song during my free period."

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "You really want to try out for the Cheerios?"

"More than anything else in the world," Kurt replied with a completely straight face, although she detected a slight twinkle in his eye.

"Alright, I'll audition with you. But you're gonna owe me Hummel. And you can go first," Mercedes said, rolling her eyes. So, while knowing that every eye in the hallway was on him, Kurt Hummel picked up the pen and became the first person in McKinley High to ever sign up for the Cheerios.

After Mercedes and Kurt had boldly put their names on the list, others felt that it was safe enough to sign up as well, and as the week progressed, the list grew fuller. It was a rather ragtag group of people, and promised an interesting time at the tryouts.

Friday was the day of the tryouts, and Mercedes and Kurt hadn't really talked about it since then. They had mentioned looking up cheers online, but other than that, not much had been said on the topic. So when Friday rolled around, Mercedes hadn't picked anything out, and had decided to just wing it. To her surprise, Kurt had managed to find a workout outfit and (of all things) made up a baton twirling routine. For some reason, although he had been the first one to sign up, she was the first called in.

She walked into the gym, feeling slight trepidation (this was Sue Sylvester after all) and a little amusement. This definitely wasn't how she had planned to spend her Friday afternoon. To her great surprise, Mr. Shuester of all people was sitting there watching over the tryouts. He looked just as surprised to see her as she was him, but gave her a smile all the same. At this point, she still didn't know what she was going to do, so she just randomly belted out,

"McKinley, hey hey, McKinley, hey hey!" and added some stomps and claps in for good measure. She got about five seconds into the song before she was cut off with a sharp

"No!" from Sue. Shrugging, she turned and walked out of the gym, smiling mockingly at Kurt and said,

"Your turn! Have fun," in a sing song voice.

"Oh I plan to," he replied with a completely serious look on his face that greatly contrasted the ridiculous warm up outfit he was sporting and the sparkly baton he held in his left hand. Confidently, he strode into the gym, and started his routine.

Mercedes stood in the doorway watching him. He was actually really good at it. She didn't know that Kurt could twirl baton, although she was beginning to suspect that there was a lot about him that she didn't know. She watched in awe as the baton twirled flawlessly through his fingers -

- and back behind him into the bleachers. She winced slightly, but had to hold in her laughter at the look of surprise on his face. Sue barked out another "No!" and he meekly collected his baton from the stands, and made his way over to her.

"Well that didn't go quite as planned," he muttered sheepishly, moving aside for the next person, a freckle-faced freshman, to squeeze past him into the gym. "I should probably stick to singing, huh?"

"Yeah just maybe," Mercedes said, still trying not to laugh. "Don't you have a big solo to work on if you want to beat miss superstar?"

"True, very true," Kurt replied, linking his arm in hers, as they made their way down the hallway. "But this was fun. And we can say that we actually tried out for the Cheerios. Not many people will be able to claim that. Do you want to hit the mall with me? I need a new outfit for the diva-off."

"Yeah sure," Mercedes said. "Hopefully we're better shoppers than Cheerios."

"That is unquestionably true. Do you not see what I'm wearing?" Kurt asked, mocking hurt. Mercedes just shook her head and laughed as they headed out the front doors into the bright Ohio sunshine.

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_Lame ending I know. Feedback is much appreciated!_


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